Self-Hatred & Anxiety

The reason we may feel more anxious than we should lies in an unusual place: Self-hatred. If we think of ourselves as ‘bad’, then surely bad things must happen to bad people. One of the ways of calming down is to learn to unpack the origins of our self-suspicion and lay the ground for a more self-loving and compassionate future.
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“The temptation, with dealing with anxiety, is always and invariably to focus on the ostensible cause of our worry: the journey to the airport, the forthcoming speech, the letter one is waiting for, the presentation one has to hand in… But if we proceed more psychologically, we might begin in a different place. With great kindness and no disrespect, we may step past the objective content of anxiety and look instead at something else: how the anxious person feels about themselves…”


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Produced in collaboration with:

Vale Productions

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions


  1. Do you suffer from anxiety? What helps you cope? Let us know in the comments below and be sure to turn on notifications to ensure you don't miss our next film.

  2. That's an interesting theory, but I often wonder of all the people that could've been born when I was conceived, I don't think I have the right to be here over someone who could've been more successful. There are plenty of living examples. Even apparent absence of bad doesn't mean one is good.

  3. I am struggling with this right now. I think my self hatred is deep rooted at this point but I will try everything I can to better my view of myself. It is really hard to find the affection that he mentioned is needed to get out of these feelings because I honestly don’t feel like I deserve it, and it’s not like anyone is reaching out. It’s so hard and if anything it’s empowering to hear that other people have gotten over the same thing from this comment section

  4. I'm glad these videos are made…when I watch them , I relate heavily and makes me feel good to know im not the only one with this problem.

  5. This is neglecting the actuality that some individuals are born into vulnerable situations where they are exposed to attack or scapegoating — born into a family with no financial power, for example. Or, born into a family that does not provide security or love– a family that does not provide social protection. There is no one in life who "has their back" . There is no one in such a person's life that others have to answer to. This can be a lifelong situation for the individual does not have an emotional or physical safety net from birth and throughout their lifespan. People in this circumstance are targets for maltreatment and wisely need to learn to watch their own backs. Vigilance is not the same as hypervigilance. Avoiding high risk situations can reflect an accurate estimation of the one's lifetime circumstances of vulnerability compared to others.

  6. When I think "I don't like how Iook" I remember this is someones dream body.

    Hope this helps! Stay stong!

  7. I have been diagnosed with anxiety so many times in my life and this video is the one thing that made me realize what im actually feeling. Its amaizing. Thank you so much i can finally start working on myself properly.

  8. I hate myself. I hate myself so much. I don’t have any friends, I don’t have anyone to talk to. I can’t talk to people, I can’t function normally. I have felt this way for so long, I just don’t think it will ever change. I just want to be normal.

  9. Neglect (even with the most well meaning parent question 4) can be a big part of it I think. I also want to punish myself:(

  10. I’m so grateful for this enlightenment I can’t even get past 18 seconds of the video because I keep rewinding it back-and-forth back-and-forth I had no idea that , this is me!!!!. Now, I have OVERCOME 💃💃🏽

  11. Triangle Man, triangle man
    Triangle man hates Particle man
    They have a fight, Triangle wins
    Triangle Man

  12. personally, I don't feel any different patronizing myself….I don't expect anyone to like me back or spend extra time with me, today's technology doesn't sit well with me, I feel like an "anomaly" to this generation…I find my life to be such a predetermined, subjective, underwhelming, obligatory mess and a drag…but that's just me folks!

  13. lol impossible to feel good about yourself when youve said/done things to people that cant be undone that will have a lasting impact on them for the rest of their lives. i feel like all i can do the rest of my life is try to hate myself less by being a better person, but i will never forget the trauma i have caused people. i cant forget.

  14. Hi, I don't think I hate myself. I was raised to believe that everyone's opinion mattered… But never thought mine was worth mentioning.
    I struggle to take compliments from others because, I think they are just trying to make me feel better. I was raised to believe everyone was attractive in their own way… Can't remember the last time I felt comfortable in my own skin. Yet I'm married with kids. Still trying to be strong for my family… Even though I'm having anxiety. I can't let them see Dad's weakness. When I try talking to my wife she just doesn't get it. Guess I'll tough it out. Love to everyone that's finding life hard right now. We will get better. God bless.

  15. i get so anxious and overthink so much that i think my friends are speaking in code around me but they dont even realise it. thats why i dont blame them for it, i just feel like im trapped in this thought loop. i also have a hard time putting together my thoughts as you may have noticed and makes me think if i have something more than just anxiety

  16. at this point I do not know
    certain problems mask the qualities of other problems
    making the defining of my issues a jumbled mess.

  17. This is.. scarily close to how I feel a lot of the time. Especially it becoming second nature. Looking objectively, I insult myself all the time, and that's just life for me. I really do need to pull myself out of this…

  18. Love myself when the entire world hates me? I can't even get a research opportunity at my university because I get diversity surveyed, I don't choose to be born white straight and male…Nobody wants to talk to me, nobody wants to love me. I can't get into any university I want, I can't get good grades, I can't enjoy anything anymore because I am rejected by others, by universities, by employers. People can't love themselves without mutual, symmetrical recognition from the outside world. And yet, no matter how hard I work for others, I am never recognized, so I can never love myself.

  19. Informative video. Jealousy, hatred and anger can ber very harmful to health. To feel better reduce negative thoughts and overthinking. Avoid comparing with others, reduce negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming–outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Observe your breath sensations before sleep, in college, at work, taking a walk, when reading, etc.etc. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a better life. Best wishes–Counsellor.

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