28 comments

  1. Yes I did sabotage a relationship because of what my x husband did to me worst mistake I ever made . This man was amazing to me and I just couldn’t open up ⬆️

  2. I had this accident two days ago.. Now I’m tormented by the thoughts of them being “done” with me. I didn’t exactly attack them, but I paranoidly assumed that I said something wrong to them

  3. Stop wondering if you are good enough for them. If they don’t value you, they are not for you.
    💙YouTuber That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

  4. So my bf has anxiety and bunch of other stuff…. I can't stand him he gets verbally aggressive for nothing and most of the time won't even remember what he said… Be sad or whatever cause of his behavior is just stupid i think… I don't know what to do… Just can't live like this it's hard. The fact with me is that i have the tendency to close my self.. A lot to the point where the communication is almost 0…i don't know how or if i can fix this

  5. I've lost the love of my life because of this. We still love each other very much. But both have to work on ourselves…

  6. I don’t have anger issues because I have this lawyer for my person on the side of my mind. But let’s say I am in this bubble where I feel crazy Because I’ve already made all the talking I’ve already had the fight, And I am trying to cool myself up, and with all that draining mission I still want to act normal Like I am not feeling the way I am feelings.

    My partner is so supportive and I feel like I am so lacking. And I feel insecure, I’ve the fights alone, Fight he won’t know about.

  7. This exact thing happened to me this weekend. First date described something and for a couple of minutes I joined the dots incorrectly and took myself back to the worst time with an ex. It was intense – physically and emotionally – the guy noticed my reaction immediately and through continued conversation he explained himself more clearly and I realised I had misunderstood him.
    We discussed my reaction again yesterday and I thanked him for being so perceptive.
    I'm grateful to all the relationship coaches I've watched together with their many books I've read as without them I would not have pulled myself out of that situation and would definitely have gone on to sabotage this fledgling relationship.

  8. This made me cry, I just lost this amazing person because I attacked. But I later told him it wasn't him, it was me, I was broken, I needed time to heal. I felt angry that what happened 2 years ago could still affect me

  9. Very helpful video. Thank you 🙏🙏 I definitely have an anxious/avoidant attachment style. I am currently experiencing a lot of relationship anxiety as I’ve met someone whom I like a lot but I have wounds from previous failed significant relationships. I need therapy I think to help me through these these anxieties. I’ve met a great partner and I owe to both of us to do this work 🙏🙏

  10. I was like this in my early 20s. A bit later in life I discovered and sort of was aware childhood traumas played a massive role. Now I’m the opposite. I’m resolved from those traumas and growing in a healthy trajectory.

  11. I have a question. Anybody who thinks they know some possible answers, please do leave a comment and I would really appreciate it. How can I differentiate between 'anxious attachment style' to 'simply not having enough trust on this person because it's just early stage of the relationship and I don't have much information of this person to build trust'? Like I feel it is understandable to not have solid trust of this person if we just started having a relationship, or not even that, just getting to know each other. Should I wait until this person gives me enough trust by being consistent, by sharing each others' deeper connection, and etc? I think anybody who doesn't know this person well enough can have little doubts or suspicions as a way of self-defense. Or am I mistaken? I want to hear other people's thoughts on this since I've been struggled with this question for a long time. I appreciate your honest thoughts on this! Thank you very much!

  12. I see a lot of that entitlement, "take me as I am." However, and this is key: we have to work on ourselves, better ourselves and come from a place of LOVE. Love and respect yourself first before trying to form a healthy relationship. Too many people are dysfunctional and confused and have no business dating or trying to create a relationship castle, as you call it, Matthew!

  13. **Nice Video! I suffered From Anxiety since I was a Kid. was later diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder,… Until I got some super Herbs from Dr Eromon Youtube channel, I'm literally doing Better now, I'm Greatful and I advise you help your self too…. .. ….

  14. Women are gifted to think like a rubber band ball, complex, 100mph, making connections from everything (it doesn't mean we're basing it on our past or any trauma),…

    It's part of being female. I believe it's part of our UNIQUE DESIGN as women to be HELPERS to the man to SOLVE PROBLEMS.

  15. This is exactly what I do. In the beginning, I don't show this, because I'm trying to be as respectful as possible. But once I get more comfortable to be my real self, I begin to "expect" the respect I expressed as a "need" in the beginning,

    Except the man had a different idea compared to mine, of what that "looked like" in practical terms.

    We each assumed it was obvious and went without saying, but it wasn't until our alleged "values and needs" were tested, that we each felt the other lied about our true values and needs.

  16. Matthew, you need to do 100 videos on anxious attachment. Especially, codependency. These two are huge, considering common dysfunctional upbringings (Narcissist abuse recovery, from Narcissist parental abuse), etc.

  17. Hey Mathew ( or anyone reading this comment) I hope this comment catches your attention. I’m having a really tough time understanding my partner and understanding whether our relationship is worth saving. We’re in our mid 20s with two children and one more on the way. And just recently I’ve notice some signs in my partner behavior that now has me questioning his intentions and his loyalty. Long story short — I’ve caught him venting and confiding in another woman about our rocky situation instead of trying to addressing it and communicating with me. My partner also suffers from a lot of anxiety and has been having sudden outburst of anger and stubbornness here and there since having to give up on our house and moving back in with my parents. I love him to death. And I’m trying to reason with him and understand where he might be coming and why he may be feeling the way he does but at the same time I don’t know what else to do or say if anything to get him to understand that I need him to be emotionally present with me as he needs me to be with him. Since confronting him about the text message, I made him leave for a while and haven’t really seen him since. I’ve reached out and have gotten some response but not enough to assure me that this is worth working on. Should I give him his space to figure things out for himself or should I continue to reach out and reassure him and try and fix things.

  18. I broke up with this guy like twice, cause he didn’t communicate with me and I made up these scenarios in my head.. he broke up with me, now it’s over for good. He recently reached out and like Matthew said, my pain turned into anger so I went off on him lol. I sabotaged it for sure lol 😐

  19. I do this shit and it's so annoying! I always start off great, confident and stable.. then after about 3 weeks, I'm the total opposite and for no reason usually. Trying to do better but idk why this keeps happening

  20. This is great advice. I really needed this. Me and my partner are going through some sh*t due to my anxious mindset and insecurities. Hopefully me putting this into affect can save my relationship. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

  21. I kept telling this to myself that it’s just my anxiety. I was so wrong. While I find your advice most useful compared to others, I’d warn everyone that anxiety is for your own defense. People lie massively and are good actors. I was cheated for years before I got solid evidence.

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